Super-sizing the hoax in an election year

Community Columnist

Just as the sun choreographs the orbital dance of the planets with the sheer omnipotence of its energy, the social order of this earth is dictated by the most powerful beings among us. Though mere mortals, they wield their godly decrees upon us with little obstruction and even less accountability. They set their way and get their way, but perhaps most importantly, they retain their places in the hierarchy of supremacy.

In order to hold onto their absolute dominion, the controllers prop up and stand behind a managerial hoax known as government. The creation of these levels of dictatorship serves the power heads by allowing for deniability. Members of the masses not only think they have power but also blame themselves when things go awry.

As Americans, we are perhaps the most duped civilians in the entire world because we actually think it matters which hoax we choose come time for elections. It’s like packing 857 sticks of dynamite per box or 966. The first is a little less dangerous while the second is more cost effective. Eventually, it’ll blow up in our hands, leaving us without as much as a finger to point.

The government always bends to the rule of the oligarchy. Whenever free reign gets the upper hand, the feds come in to make a stand.

When government seems to be getting its way, free enterprise returns to rule the day.

And quite remarkably, all things can be attributed to the presumably infallible forefathers, a roomful of men who never learned how to navigate a website, drive a stick or even flush a toilet.

As we ponder the gravitas and resultant legality of the 20-ounce sugary beverage, we pride ourselves with the knowledge of the utmost complexity of our voting day decision. It’s not simply the soda we surmise, the lever we choose to pull has to do with more government or less government. The first is a little less dangerous while the second is more cost effective.

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