“Snow White and the Huntsman” is a bizarre and untidy film.
Hollywood chauvinists have altered this fairy tale of a beautiful young girl with stepmother angst into an action movie. It is like making Dorothy into a fighter pilot, dive bombing Oz. Granted, her stepmother is a mighty evil queen with swell powers, but Snow White is presented as a waif who looks like a dirty, bulimic rock groupie that transforms to a pygmy Joan of Arc.
It doesn’t work.
We all know the story: The evil witch of a queen (Charlize Theron) literally sucks the life out of the kingdom’s young virgins to sustain her own youth and beauty. There are only so many virgins, and the queen still ages. She must have the “fairest” heart to restore her best-in-show beauty.
Alas, Snow White has escaped to the Dark Forest. The huntsman is sent to find her and bring her heart home.
A very elaborate action story evolves as the huntsman is beguiled, then actually protects Snow White from the Queen’s marauders. He helps forge support from the countryside to then storm the castle and restore Snow White’s kingdom. The dwarfs only parenthetically function in this paradigm, and one of them is actually killed.
There are some good things about this movie. The special effects are quite good and well-placed. However, the story and presentation are awful. Grimm’s Snow White is better, not as a warrior princess but for the purity of her heart. And Kristen Stewart is woefully miscast as Snow White — even as a dried up hag, Charlize Theron is far “more fair” than Kristen Stewart on her best day.
Finally … you don’t ever kill dwarfs.
Stay at home, re-read a bad book, but don’t see this movie.
Jim Wigge is a retired engineer, Cazenovia resident and film-aficionado, who reviews movies for the Cazenovia Republican. He can be reached through the editor, at email@example.com.