Cazenovia According to “The Watch,” there are problems brewing in small, blissful Glenview, OH.
The Buckeyes are losing, teenagers are running amok, there are uncontrolled orgies inside gated homes … and there is a passel of extraterrestrials camped in the basement of the local Costco.
The real problem, though, is that this movie is a loser.
It is tedious, boring, and should never have been made. It is a comedy with no one laughing, the sound of one hand clapping.
Evan (Ben Stiller) is the manager of said Costco. When the store’s night guard is brutally killed inside the locked store, the local gendarmes are stumped. As a stand-up eager beaver, Evan forms a neighborhood watch with three other locals.
The basis of the movie then becomes the escapades of this watch group that eventually encounters the aliens. These ETs are smaller, hungrier, twitchier approximations of Ridley Scott’s alien. Logically, the story becomes: “Stop the aliens.”
To Evan’s straight arrow, Vince Vaughn plays fast-talking, fun-loving Bob; Jonah Hill plays a fat, mini-psycho cop wannabe.
All of these gents have done great comedic stands in the past, but they are neither funny nor sympathetic here. They are boring.
The best of the lot is the tall East Indian (Richard Ayoade) with wild eyes and great timing in a clipped British accent.
I looked forward to this film for its cast and comic potential, and I was disappointed.
The movie’s writing and direction is absurd. There is no narrative continuity, and if one gag slightly worked, it was repeated into the ground. Most of the near-comedy occurs when the four principals are standing together, ad-libbing.
You can’t take the kids because it is R-rated, and I wouldn’t recommend you go even if you have free tickets.
Jim Wigge is a retired engineer, Cazenovia resident and film-aficionado, who reviews movies for the Cazenovia Republican. He can be reached through the editor at email@example.com.