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Autumn in America

— The comedians and the pundits have had a plethora of material to work with as the non-Roms scurry about trying to get a message across while avoiding foot and mouth disease, like a Chevy Chase with a bad ending.

I think the best non-Rom out there is Jon Huntsman. His campaign ad claims America is bleeding. Aren’t we though? He’s a Mormon, but not a strict fundamentalist. His wife is Presbyterian, his kids went to Catholic school and he has an adopted daughter from India who practices Hinduism.

He played keyboard in a rock band and he rides a motorcycle in the desert. But most importantly, his father started small and built up a solid business.

Huntsman doesn’t need the work, but he sounds like he really cares. He stood up for his religion, calling a Texan preacher a moron for claiming Mormonism is a cult, sort of like Buddhism, Hinduism and Islam, to which outspoken Bill Maher said, “as if Christianity isn’t a cult.”

Here’s to freedom of religion. Here’s to Huntsman, U.S. President, whether it’s this time around or next.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Obama, but ordinary, intelligent people have been unduly cruel to him, like when the nuns slapped my father’s hand with yardsticks because he wrote lefty.

Gone are all the accolades, well-educated, well-spoken, decent, civic-minded, husband, father, family man who just happened to summon the wherewithal to become, audaciously enough, the first African American President of the United States. He went from the right man at the right time, to a good man in a bad place. Like when legendary Yankee manager Casey Stengel’s common sense wisdom was wasted on the not-ready-for-primetime Mets.

Slowly coming to, I saw my son and my wife with horrified faces.

At first, she yelled at me, saying I ruined her tea party. She had told me not to throw the plastic jug away, the environment and all. I mumbled something like better to throw it away than take the sack. My son walked me to the sink and stopped the bleeding.

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