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Autumn in America

— It’s autumn and we start to think of Thanksgiving, Halloween and the Republican Primary, the good, the bad and the bloody.

Actually, my family did more thanks and giving on Christmas. The fourth Thursday in November was really about football and knowing the Cowboys would never slay the Lions and visa-versa; they were different genres. That’s why it’s just not right that the Yankees got beat by the Tigers.

From the turkey slaughtering, to the vampires, to the Obama bashing, to leaving all those men on base; the whole thing is a bloody mess.

It’s autumn and the weather got warm again. My wife wanted to entertain but the plastic iced tea container was flagged for mold encroachment, probably from the last tea party. I tried to scrub it, but clean and fresh mold is still mold, so I brought it to the curb. My wife said she would clean it, but it was too late. Mixing the tea in a glass container instead, I applied appropriate refrigeration and spent the day jamming with my son, trying to write a new theme song for Monday Night Football.

Later, when I went to sneak myself a glass of tea, the top came off and the pitcher fell to the counter. I reacted stupidly and tried to catch it, but only managed to slice my hand open with the broken shard. Like that, I had a flap of skin in my left palm bleeding from wrist to index in the shape of a half-moon, no more guitar that day.

The blood poured out and I swooned. A victim of unnecessary roughness, I temporarily lost consciousness. The cuckoo birds went into a hurry-up offense and I dreamt of being a registered Republican…

Now that Chris Farley and Tina Fey have officially withdrawn from the race, again, Mitt Romney seems to be the next best choice, albeit a presidential candidate that leaves most somewhat less than rhapsodic, which has created its own party faction, the non-Roms.

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