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When trust is broken, it’s time to start talking

Letter to the editor

— To the editor:

When a respected funeral director is accused of sexual assault on young girls in the community, we need to have an open discussion.

If for example, someone would have hired your daughter or girlfriend, had them sign a confidentiality agreement not to discuss anything, then “examined” them in nothing but a robe for “their own good” with no other nurse or guardian in the room, should we be talking about this?

Absolutely.

The issue with cases like these is they normally start with someone a trusted position that has done wrong to a trusting person, and when the story surfaces, people in the community still feel odd or accusatorial in questioning the facts.

Normally the accuser is questioned and plied for a motivation. This can be seen in the high profile cases in the news today. People don’t discuss the facts and what others know.

In our case, are 25 girls all wrong?

I experienced how a sexual predator works while in junior high school in Rome. I wasn’t a victim, but he ruined several around me. He worked from a position of trust, and recruited whom he wanted, and then preyed.

He is still an active priest in Syracuse because of the Statue of Limitations. I was young and trusting, and still regret not having connected the dots and spoken up. Another story.

Out trust has been broken, and I applaud the young women that have stepped forward.

It is not easy.

If they hadn’t, the two years Statue of Limitations would have dismissed this case – facts or no facts.

As a community, you should ask questions about this case. Not a day goes by that I don’t learn something new or further facts about this case by just talking about it.

Many people have a connection.

This is about trust, and about someone accused of doing something despicable to our young. We can’t just ignore it or switch on the “Cloak of Trust” thinking because he was a friend or did a great job at a family event.

This is about what really happened and the accusing victims.

Start talking. Ask me.

Steven M. Adolfi

Cazenovia

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