Jeff Kramer was married in Skaneateles

'Lowdown Lies' will celebrate Father's Day with a terrible tie contest:

In honor of Father's Day, all fathers who attend the 2 p.m. Sunday, June 17, performance of Jeff Kramer's original play "Lowdown Lies" at Redhouse will receive a free ugly tie.

The show's intermission will feature a "Terrible Tie Tying Contest" between author Kramer, production director Len Fonte and selected audience members.

"These aren't just bad ties," first-time playwright Kramer said. "They're atrocious. We've scoured thrift shops and even our own closets for ties that veritably scream 'incinerate me now!'"

Kramer's two daughters will hand out the ugly ties, because, according to Kramer, they need to learn "that life isn't just about butterflies and princesses."

"The contest winner will receive a second ugly tie," Armory Square Playhouse Artistic Director David Feldman said. "We've found they are excellent for shining shoes, so the lucky winner will get one for each foot."

No theme ties or gag ties will be allowed, according to Kramer.

"We're only giving away ties that were once believed to be attractive or at least acceptable, which makes them even more awful."

Note: No Skaneateles ties rated inclusion in this event.

About the virgin playwright

Jeff Kramer, a former football player, has never been convicted of a felony. He was married in Skaneateles and writes an award-winning humor column for the Post-Standard. "Lowdown Lies" is his first play, so far.

A native of Seattle, Wash. and a graduate of Western Washington University, Kramer, 45, makes his home in Jamesville, with his wife, Leigh, and their two daughters, Miranda and Lily; and Nate the Dog. They are all related to Skaneateles residents Robert and Sally Neumann, as daughter, grandchildren and grand dog respectively, and, oh yeah, son-in-law.

During a 20-plus year newspaper career, he has written for The Boston Globe, The Los Angeles Times and The Orange County Register in California. Interesting the Post Standard isn't mentioned in this list?

A native English speaker, Kramer enjoys drinking juice directly from the carton and speaking in generalities.

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